We arrived promptly at 5 a.m. as instructed by my doctor. After getting checked in and loaded up with information and IV's the doctor came and broke my water at 8a.m. I already had a very steady contraction pattern but they started pitocin to increase the intensity. The downfall of this plan is that with the increased intensity (and pain) my blood pressure was going to increase. And sure enough by noon my blood pressure was getting to an unsafe level, but I was only dialated to 4 c.m. Instead of beginning a medicine to control my blood pressue (which I have been told is aweful) I made the decision to abandon my "all natural" ship and opt in for a good ole epidural. The epidural kept my blood pressue down for quite sometime, however by 6 p.m. (and only 6c.m. dialated) my blood pressure was becoming a problem again. Not only was my blood pressue a problem but I had started to have a fever. These are two very bad signs during labor. The nurse had even told Matthew not to leave and eat dinner because she thought a C-section was in the near future. After a dose of Tylenol, a full bag of fluids, my second round of antibiotics, and four (yes FOUR) hours of laying flat on my back I was 10 c.m. dialated. The unfortunate thing was that my doctor was not even at the hospital!! What?! The nurse said, "don't sneeze or cough or she is going to come out!" Finally, around 10:30p.m. my doctor walked in and my nurse started commanding me to push during my next contraction. Five pushes, through three contractions later Isabella Faye Hughes was brought into this world. She was born April 05, 2011 at 11:00 p.m. She weighed 5lbs. 14.2oz. and 18" long.
Five minutes later, the situation was not so exciting. She wasn't as pink, and breathing was really hard for her. Then before Matthew and I could blink, the NICU team came and swept her away. Doctors and nurses continued to reassure us that everything was okay. As much as you want to believe them, you just worry in every inch of your body. What made matters worse is that due to my fever I was now quarrantined from seeing her for 24 hours from the time I became fever free. Are you kidding me?! I can't see my own daughter! This is a joke! I have carried this baby for 9 months and now you are just going to keep her locked away in a little room and let only my husband and other family members see her?! How do you know that they don't have a fever?!
The first night was rough on Isabella. She had to have CPAP to help reinforce to her that breathing was a good idea. It was also helping her breathe easier without having to work so hard to maintain her oxygen saturation. Matthew finally got to see her around 1a.m. and he took pictures for me to see. She looked rough but it made it a reality for me that she needs some extra attention and love. (Like the love from her mommy that is being kept from her for 24 hours, OMG how am I ever going to make it 21 more hours away from her!!)
The next day we had many visitors. Isabella had to be seen by the neonatologist who gave her a very good outlook. She was removed from oxygen and was told to work on her feedings. Matthew kept me updated with fresh videos and pictures every few hours. This helped me maintain some type of sanity while I counted down the time.
Nana Nancy, Papa Bobby, Uncle Andrew, Uncle Andrew, Robert, and Aunt Sherry came by to visit. It was nice to have some company to keep me preoccupied until 12:15 a.m. Not to metion that I just continued to look at my precious little girl in all the pictures and videos that came back from the NICU.
FINALLY at 12:15 (and no later) I was running down the hallway to see her. I couldn't get scrubbed in fast enough and through that door. I just wanted to touch her skin and feel her soft hair and just soak in everything that I had missed in the past 24 hours. It seemed like I had missed 24 days...no weeks...no years. I just wanted to take in every detail of her. I already could tell she looked so much like Matthew. I don't mind one bit that she looks like him. The nurses are just amazed at how much her and Matthew look alike. Here are my thoughts: She has the most silky soft brown thick hair (no suprise), she has long, gorgeous eyelashes just like daddy (yea!), her chin is definately all daddy, she has my long legs, funky toes and the most obvious is the resemblence of my chubby cheeks.
Oh how I still long to hold her. It killed me to leave her in the NICU alone again tonight. I feel like a terrible mother that has just thrown her child into a pack of wolves. I hated it. I cried when I thought about leaving her, then I cried all the way down the hall and for quite a while when I got back to my room and now I am crying again. Hopefully, she will be strong enough that she will be able to handle mommy holding her tomorrow. I REALLY hope so atleast. I know I will probably leave the hospital without her. And for now I have settled into this reality, but I love my daughter and I just want what is best for her. I know that His hands will help guide all of us through this first little speed bump.
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