Pregnancy. The Good, the Bad, and the Down Right Ugly!

DISCLOSURE: I am very happy to be pregnant. It is a blessing. I find a new joy everyday in being pregnant. However, this is just a few things that all women should be aware of if they ever consider becoming pregnant.

Matthew and I tried to conceive for almost two years before we were successful. I would read so many wonderful blogs about how great being pregnant was and how it was the best experience of their lives. Well...don't get me wrong, I love being pregnant. Isabella is such a blessing. I love feeling her practice her gymnastics in my belly. Watching my belly grow (and grow). And each and every little experience in between. It is just how all those lovely blogs explained it, but they really left out all the extremely wonderful details. So, just let me just enlighten you on all of those wonderful (ehhmm) miracles of pregnancy.

10.  Ahh, so you have finally gotten done with work, dinner, and had your down time for the night. You get all snuggled up in bed. Everything is perfect around you, except as soon as you lay down to sleep it hits you. Yeah thats right, someone is ripping crochet hooks through your shins and every muscle of your leg. Nothing soothes the pain. And I am still waiting for that miracle cure. Oh and don't try to Google it. I have already done that, tried those. FAIL

9.  What bra comes after DD? And where do you find one? And once you do find one, why can't you find one that looks half way decent? I'm only 7 months in and 2 sizes up. Who knows what I am going to have to do once all my milk comes in. I will probobly have to buy a couple tarps to go under the moo-moo's that I will have to wear just to keep these knockers under wraps.

8. I have tried every deoderant in the aisle at Wal-Mart. Spray, gel, solid. But honestly nothing really covers up the funny odor that you aquire being pregnant. And just get used to the pools of sweat that puddle under your arms. Arm pit stains are your new fashion statement.

7. Speaking of fashion statements, don't plan on making any great strides in this area because maternity clothes (that don't cost an arm and a leg) just are not flattering. Not to mention you can buy them to fit one day, but then a few inches later they will be tight or the elastic that holds them up is all stretched out. My plan after baby...find a kick butt diet so I can go back to normal clothes ASAP.

6. You will absolutely love when you start to show. And you will love it even more when you feel the baby start kicking. But what you will not love is so many people touching your belly. I mean it is like a magnet for old ladies to just start rubbing all up on. Scenario: We were at a social gathering. I was sitting down eating. Old lady comes over to talk to and rub on my belly. Okay fine lady. I smile and be polite. But the way I am sitting makes my belly lay really close to my female parts. Okay lady you are getting really close to touching my female parts. Lady touches top of female parts. Yeah it happened. What do you do, really?

5. God did give you one defense mechanism for #6. If at some reason you find yourself in the scenario from #6 just release some of that evil gas that you produce when you are pregnant. If you were ever wondering what killed the dinasours it is the aweful smell that comes from a pregnant humans bottom in the form of a clear, very odor filled, gas. And it only creeps up on you in the worse times, i.e. quiet times in church, while in line at the bank or store, when your OB is getting ready to check your cervix. But unfortunately you can't produce it when your husband is wanting some snuggle, snuggle time. It is the darndest thing.

4. You always hear about your milk coming in after delivery, but NOBODY tells you about your pre-milk. Mine started seeping from my boobies around 5 months. At first I just thought I was waking up sweaty. Please refer to #8 for why I may or may not have thought this. But then I noticed it one day. Of course since I am a first time mom I called my doctors office right away. They laughed at me. I continued on my day. Okay so early "lactation" is normal. But is it normal to wake up to pre-milk dried off your boob in a form similar to an icicle? Just asking.

3. Women are crazy. It is a common saying in our house. (No, Matthew doesn't say it about me. He doesn't have to because I beat him to it) But we as women know that we compare ourselves to each other. I know quite a few of my friends that are pregnant right now and I would occasionally compare my belly to their belly pics. Or I would see if their baby was kicking yet if mine wasn't. You can say you won't or don't do this, but lets just be honest here. But the thing that will drive you nuts is when other women will try an one up your pregnancy milestones. If your baby kicked once, you know for sure that theirs has kicked to the beat of Motzart. And if you are still fitting in your pre-pregnancy jeans, you better believe that they lost a size in jeans.

2. Hold on tight because if you don't you will be changing your panties. That's right peeing in your pants is cool while your pregnant. I didn't have trouble with this until the end of my first trimester. I had a terrible cold and everytime I coughed or sneezed I would dribble a little. It wouldn't matter if I had just gone potty, if I didn't hold on to something, anything left in there was coming out. It hasn't changed much since that stupid cold. Even this past weekend as I walked outside to help Matthew wash my car, I sneezed, I peed, I laughed.

1. If you need to know anything about being pregnant, you should definately know that people develop mouth diarehha when they are around pregnant women. It is like they are all of a sudden experts in obstetrics, pediatrics, nursery decor, and of course how to be a mommy. Yes, don't get me wrong most of them are mommies and they have been there done that. But what they fail to mention is that it was 25 or more years ago. Medicine has greatly changed since then. As well as parenting techniques and nursery decor. I have had a very hard time dealing with this. I am sure it is because I am very hormonal and I take things more personally than I should, but HELLO this is my baby, my nursery, and unless you want to go through #10 - #2 just butt out and respect my darn opinion or belief.

I didn't want to post this to put people in fear of pregnancy, but just keep in mind that all of those fairy tale dream blogs are leaving out some of the most wonderful details. It is crazy what they don't write in pregnancy books either. This is just another example of how much women go through in life. I posted this because my favorite mom blog does such a good job of enlightening me on all the real life dramas of pregnancy and motherhood.

6 Months and Counting...

Okay, this is real now. I am actually starting to show (some days more than others) rather than just looking like the holidays were rough on me. It is a little surreal. Matthew actually said the other day that we needed to actually start doing things to prepare, because it is real now. I guess it just took me getting fat for us to realize that we are actually going to bring a little life into this house. And more importantly the little life that is coming into our house in approximately three months is NOT (in no way shape or form) going to like our relaxed and laid back life style.

Here is a quick 6 month update:

• I finally have a better appetitie. Gone are the days of eating like a bird. I can actually finish a meal. And there are most days that I must have a snack in between meals. I am sure my doctor will be glad to hear this since I am still 5 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight.
• My current foods are: MILK and tons of it! Oranges, cereal, orange juice, apple juice. And the shocking introduction of pickles into my diet.
• I get hot super easy. So if you see me and it is freezing outside and I don't have a coat on, please understand that I am pregnant and I am hot 95% of the time, unlike our house to quote my wonderful husband.
• I don't sleep well. Mainly because I wake up on my back and freak out because that is in my book of no-no's. I have never been a back sleeper, so why am I now?

Matthew says that other than being hot all the time and wearing different pants I haven't changed a bit. Awe, isn't he sweet. I know in the back of his mind he is really thinking that I am crazy, he just won't admit it. Trust me, I know he has to be thinking I am somewhat crazy because we have been working on the nursery together and well...well...we will just leave it at the fact we have been working on the nursery together. LOL (pics to follow)

Here is a picture from Christmas Day. 22 weeks